I’m sorry – MATHS as an entertainment form? Fuck that! Bring pack the crossword, the puzzle or their bastard love child the Crozzle! Note to editors, please stop infiltrating my newspaper pages with maths guessing games – they’re just not as fun.

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• Little House On The Prairie Hair -  Just because your hair is past your arse and you can twist that plait around your noggin like a headband 3 times doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.

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• Slow walking people – MOVE or step out of the way
• Screaming kids – Control them or use protection
• Boys who insist on wearing fluoro, skinny leg jeans and boat shoes - No you don’t look cool
• Whingers who complain about smoking - We’re outside. F**K YOU
• People who begin a sentence with “Just a quick one…” - it’s never a quick, stop bothering me
• Those who want to ‘talk’ whilst I am at the gym – Can’t you see that I’m sweating like a horse and can barely breathe?
• Shit – Realising there is no toilet paper
• Small talk – I don’t give a shit about the weather
• Sensitive people - So what if I crack jokes and take the piss out of you – harden the f**k up
• Sydney Trains – Enough said
• Girls who can’t apply make up and end up looking like drag queens – I have to look at you, spare me
• Amy Winehouse - Just die already
• Water – Tasteless, boring, but ‘good for you’ water. Ugh!
• Visible earwax - Clean your freaking ears dammit
  

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• Premature Ejaculation ads – sure they’re supposed to be doing a good thing for men who get ahead of themselves, but they’re just fucking annoying
• Flannel Boots – As witnessed on the 7.33 City via Granville train this morning. A poor tragic teenager wearing flannel boots. Buy a mirror love
• People who talk loudly to others because they have earphones on – Honestly, take your damn earphones off for a second if you’re having a conversation with someone. It’s just commonsense
• Adam Sandler – Have you seen the poster for his latest monstrosity Zohan? If not check it out here. From one Adam to another Adam, give up, adopt a child, open a coffee shop – something, just go away
• Trains – Yes all of them and hardly original given I live in Sydney and we have perhaps the worst rail network in the world.

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www.thingsyouhate.wordpress.com